Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

thumb_up thumb_down +13

all the kids had fun

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How's the weather? Good.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

This sentence is a lie.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the cure of cancer? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops