Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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What is funnier than the funniest thing in the world? Something funnier than the world!

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his farmer was abusive.

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

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What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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A man walks into a resteraunt and joins his friends. Then he realized he had no friends. ~YN~

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops