Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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Keep Scrolling Penis Keep scrolling Keep scrolling

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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