How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Women's Rights

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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Why was the baby crying? Because she had a frog nailed to her face.

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

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Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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Why could the penguin not fly? It was shot in the wing.

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What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

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A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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