whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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This isn't funny.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

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What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

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what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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A young girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges a few minutes later unharmed and goes about her day.

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What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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