Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Homosexualism is so gay man

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black man get kicked out of his hotel room? He did't pay and was in debt so they couldn't allow him to stay.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Jewish man walks by a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor! why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. why did the farmer cross the road? To get his chicken. Why didnt the farmer make it to the other side? He was hit by his tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Abe Lincholn had a son, But he died

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops