why was the boy crying he had cancer

Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. tom halls mum

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

There's 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving. Probably one of the 2 men.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Kevin. Which? Kevin Smith or Kevin Johnson? Kevin Johnson. Oh ok, come in please.

There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

A chicken walks into a barn.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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