What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

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Why didn't the boy get his mom anything for her birthday? He was killed by a drunk driver years ago

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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A person from Singapore eats

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a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

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how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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what did the dog say to the retarded black guy ? bark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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