what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Q: why does the fire breather hate his job A: his parents were burned to death MR

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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