Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

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Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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rocky is here again.......................

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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What's Black/White and red all over? Obama when he gets a little flustered.

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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What did a blonde and a Puerto Rican name their baby? Joshua, after the blonde's grandfather who passed away a year earlier.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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