What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A moose walks into a food store. He asks the lady working there where the potatoes are. She says "go down aisle 5.'' he goes down aisle 5 and there arent any potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Racial Equality

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops