Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

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Katy Perry

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how many strippers can you fit into a garage? as many as you wanted depending on the size of the garage, but after so many gathered in the same building it is a good probability that some strippers would leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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