What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

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a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

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Twinkle Twinkle little wh**e close youre legs youre not a door. youre gonna get an S,T,D, youree only wanted cause youre free... Twinkle Twinkle little Wh**e youre cheeper then the dollar store

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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Why did the boy go to his room? Because his father told him to.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

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smell the vitamin C

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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3.14159365358979323846264

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If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

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I like cookies... GIVE ME ICE CREAM.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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Why wasent Toby at school He was hit by a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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