Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops