person 1: wanna hear a knock knock joke? Person 2: sure! Person 1: okay you start person 2: knock knock Person 1: who's there?

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Well, a pizza is edible object provided for human consumption, and a jew is a holy human being believing in the prophet abraham.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: He wasn't, it turns out 7 was afraid of 6 because 6 beat 7 up in high school

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

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How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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what do you call a black man wearing a makeup? A clown

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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I would have buttered my bread, but the pool was cold.

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You bumder!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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