Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

BOB: Hey look its spiderman Spiderman: IT'S MANSPIDER!!! Punch! Kick! Ouch!

What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

What do the Wii, PS3, and Xbox 360 all have in common? None of them will get you laid.

What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

So a guy with no legs and no arms is on his death bed. He asks to sky dive one time before he dies.

what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

Why are black people good at basketball? While there are many preternaturally gifted black men and women in professional basketball, the notion that one race holds sway over the others in terms of sheer skill and talent is a ridiculous stereotype; propagated, no doubt, by both ignorant and jealous persons of other colors.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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