So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Nick Cannon

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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Where are the first Cannibals in the Bible? A. 2 Corinthians 8:1

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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you dint have to be a jew matt

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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Women's rights

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yo momma's so dumb she attended a dyslexic test and was proven mildly autistic.

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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NEVER

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A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops