what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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Ben Affleck

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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whats sad about a ton of blacks in a limo going off a cliff. they'll destroy the car

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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I don't like Holocaust jokes. Anne Frankly they offend me,

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Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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