roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When is a door not a door? Never.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I don't like Holocaust jokes. Anne Frankly they offend me,

thumb_up thumb_down +8

For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

thumb_up thumb_down +8

- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is 33 + 1? Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops