I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

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Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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Q:What is harder than nailing ten dead babies to a tree? A:Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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A jew walks into a bar and asked for 5 shots the bartender replies to him "did you and your wife have a fight" "yeah now shes atheist"

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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What's dumber than a black guy that can't read? Two black guys that can't run with TVs.

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What's worse than finding a bug in your soup? The Holocaust

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I walked into temptation yesterday, He said hi.

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What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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Q: What's worst than the Holocaust? A: 6 million Jews

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haha

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

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Yo momma so fat she soon became aware of her physical state and developed an eating disorder which led to her tragic death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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