Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

Why can't black people be astronauts? Institutionalized racism.

There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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