Roses are red grass is green get on th bed and I'll fill you wilpth my cream ;)

How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

kcid gib a evah uoy neht sdrawkcab siht daer nac uoy fi

what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

What's funny about water, food, and shelter? Nothing, those are essential necessities to live your life, unless you have chains attached to your ankles with bricks on the other end and you're thrown in the middle of the ocean with no chance what so ever

A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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