A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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punchline below punchline above

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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