Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

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A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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Tommy got neutered.

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http://citizenmcgeedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/borat-banana-hammock.jpg?w=300

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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I want seaman but sex with interracial men body builders. Please call me - 843-813-2788

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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