As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's do a woman's vagina and a camel's toe have in common? Other than being parts of two mammals, they have nothing in common.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +30

If youre African, why are you white?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops