N-E Pats never cheated

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is blue? The sky! Hahaha best joke to laught at with all of your buds hehehehehee

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the youtube like bar green? Because the graphics designer felt like making it green. =.=

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is funnier than the funniest thing in the world? Something funnier than the world!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

thumb_up thumb_down -24

jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? A:blue

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -26

-knock knock! -doors open

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops