jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? A:blue

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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-knock knock! -doors open

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how much c o c k could a n i g g e r lick if a f a g g o t licked a d i c k

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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Women's Rights

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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what is the color of a burp burple

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

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Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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Why did Billy Bob kidnap Jamal? Because he finds the African American community fascinating and is unable to start up a regular conversation due to the over-amplified stereotype that rednecks usually kidnap and/or kill black people. Therefore, kidnapping Jamal was necessary so that he could have a conversation with him about his heritage and background.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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