How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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Now I have been typing without even thinking about that, and you have been following me.

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Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

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Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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What is blue? The sky! Hahaha best joke to laught at with all of your buds hehehehehee

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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I feel like making a good joke.But i cant. YN

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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