Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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Yo' Momma is so fat she weighs a lot!

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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Q-whats green and has eyes. A-A frog are you stupid

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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