Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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Where does Charlie Sheen Shop? Winners

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Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Hello, nice to meet you.

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops