What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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J?????????????????o??????????????????????k?????????????????????????e?????????????????????????????????????s??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????o??????????????????????n??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????y???????????????????????????????????o????????????????????????????????u????????????????????????????????.?????????????????????????????.????????????????????.????????????????????????

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

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womens rights

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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