An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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What did the trucker say when his hat blew out the window? "**** my hat!" What did the teenager say when the same thing happened to him in his small car? The same thing, except he was a teenager, driving a small car.

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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