A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

pee

"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

4 hours later.

Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? I eat pizza.

charlie sheen

Whats worse than breaking your Xbox? Being raped by your dad.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

Q. Why did Justin Beiber fall off the ladder? A. He was trying to reach puberty

A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

what do u call a black guys dick a pogo stick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...