A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

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what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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You all have Aids

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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Faithful men.

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

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Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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