what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

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knock knock go away!!!

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

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How do you end a sentence

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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i have a christmas tree.

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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what do you call mexicans in a circle around a house? a spicket fence

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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