What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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What do you get when you mix a ginger with gasoline? a forest fire.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

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Why was i said when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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Why Do Girls Have holes?? For the guys poles.

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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