Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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Once you go black, you have a high chance of being in an interracial relationship.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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Yo mamas so fat she is obese

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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What is more addictive than World Of Warcraft? Heroin

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A person who doesn't know hungarian is trying to read the next sentence. Sajnos nem érti, mivel nem tud magyarul.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

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there was a black man his head looked like a peanut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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