A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Little goldy locks was walking through a forest and stumbled across a nice cabin. She went inside and ate some newly made porridge and slept on the various beds that were there. The owners of the house came back from a stroll of their own and sued her for breaking and entering.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You all have Aids

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Joesph Triphook.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Bill: Heydidyouknowlosersaywhat Donny: What? Bill: Loser

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Faithful men.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops