One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

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Anything involving women..

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

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why did the the frog cross the road? because he was on the chickens back

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How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

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What did PSY say about his newest song? Probably something in Korean.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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>>---------------------------------[ knee ]------------------------->>>

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what?

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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