What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

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why did the boy drop the ball. he was shot in the head.

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Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

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Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

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Anti-Joke Memes Are Obviously Not A Thing

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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Why did the priest take a little boy into the back room? To talk about the boy's future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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