How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

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YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

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follow @nils_kosmo on twatter hehe

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hello? knock knock. you called me, why are you saying knock knock?

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Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

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A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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