knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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WHAT????

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what do you call balls on richards chin? a dick in his mouth

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you put the chevy to the levy when your pants fell heave diarea

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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NEVER

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

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4 hours later.

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops