What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

thumb_up thumb_down +8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops