- Anti Joke

Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

What did taxi driver say to the passenger? Where to, sir?

A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

whats white and big and white? alot of things...

A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

What does the fox say? Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding!

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

whats funnier than a dead musim? a guy who begs a girl to go out with him for 16 hours

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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