A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

Golgo12 here, I can see how some people consider you insane Nero, glad to know point zero is the starting ground of your elysum, that should show them how a modern society should be like. You got six years left to live? That sucks man sorry to hear that. Ur real name is Nero? Axel Knight sounds so much more... You.

Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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