Knock Knock Who's there? Sheriff Sheriff who? Sheriff Robinson your husband has died in a local car accident.

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Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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Q: Whats funny about the Holocaust A: Nothing

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What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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What is worst about the great white shark? It's hundreds of sharp teeth, strong tail, or subtle racism? Probably the teeth.

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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dark humor is like food... not everyone gets it

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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yo mommas so fat she heard it was chilly out so she ran inside and got a bowl

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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Praise Paisley

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops