A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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