Double-whammy

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Q: whats worse than being in the car for 1hour A: being in the car for 2 hours Made by: grant chapman:)

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Korean man, "Hi, I'm the President of North Korea!" Man, "Oh wow! What's your name?" Korean man, "Kim."

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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