how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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I walk into a bar...

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A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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How do you get a Blonde to brake her nosebone? You put your dick under a glastable! QQ

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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how many pieces of wood can a lumberjack cut in a minute? three dead squrlles a hat and and half of a tree oh and a bus. and if u get in his way alot of guts spewed every where

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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What did the PC say to the Mac? Nothing you idiot! Computers can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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