What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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your face is kinda funny

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roses are red violets are blue

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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Whats a hobbo's favorite food? Trash

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops