knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person if the Jewish religion and a pizza is a type of food.

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Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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Once a upon of time, there was a very big kangaroo named Jake. Well one day Jake was eating some food when suddenly a bunch of humans came and saw him. One human name Willie went over to take some pictures of the animal. The Jake ran away.

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

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Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

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Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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I regret everything.....

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KEVIN CRUMMY SMELLS LIKE SARAHS (I)

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

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no im only tryin to keep it real like a broken peice of cheese.

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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