Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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antonis sister is mighty fine

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You know whats funny Aids

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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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Go away nothing to see here,. I said go away

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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