Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Where's Stevin Hawkins? He went for a walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

hello

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you call a white guy in a joke? The first joke to specify one of the people in the joke as one with Caucasian origin.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why was the black man arrested? Tax evasion.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

25

thumb_up thumb_down -41

what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What's worse than HIV? AIDS -Bob Bobby

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do we want? Equal rights for people with Tourette's Syndrome. When do we want them? Fuck!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Whats black and gay? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How do you call two black men on the moon? Astronauts.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What happened to the mentaly retarted gentleman walking down the street? Nothing bad. He might a very fine woman and the went to dinner shortly after.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

thumb_up thumb_down -43

In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Without geometry life would be pointless

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Q: What happened to the dog when he eat the banana? A: he got raped by a monkey...

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops