How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

noah is a scrub jungle

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats Better Than an Anti Joke? sex...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Black People

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops