How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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jibby jobby

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Gordon Brown smiles.

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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