Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken? That one! Grandma, that's a hobo. Put your glasses on.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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Yo mama is so stuPid that she blew a man for bus money then walked home

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This joke is the worst joke ever.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops