I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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An Artic Storm.

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What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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like this if you think what ever you want to..

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops