This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Water? I hardly know her.

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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why can't the bat see? Because it's made of metal

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what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? The police, your family were killed in a bakery A German bakery.

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

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Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

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why didn't paul ride the horse? he was busy

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whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

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What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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i killed my family

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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