Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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Why do Christians believe in God? Because they're stupid

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Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

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What are kids supposed to do in American classrooms if a nuke hits nearby? Hide under the desk. (This is a fact) Moral: Like that is gonna help... seriously that is ridiculous!

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican walk into a bar. They have a beer, enjoy some pleasant conversation, then go home to their families.

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Q: What is Kony's favorite rapper A: SOULJA BOY!!

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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women's rights

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wael.. nuff said

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I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

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Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

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Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

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What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops